Theories
The New York Times agrees that Freddie Freaker is very mysterious and philosophical. Here, we as a community theorize about him. OneyPlays' Theory The YouTube channel OneyPlays, which somewhat contributed to Freddie's newfound popularity, has hypothesized on what would happen it the number was called. They agreed it was either a chatline or a way to contact Freddie himself and summon him to your home. As Chris said, "1 freak, 2 freak, 3 freak, 4. Now the freak is knockin' on your door. 5 freak 6 freak 7 freak 2. Now the freak he come for you." Humboldt2003's Theory: The Escaped Ape My theory is that Freddie Freaker was a government experiment, in which they were attempting to create the ultimate life-form. They were approaching success with the creation of Freddie Freaker, an ape infused with magic chemicals, but the creature escaped, and soon after, the people who created the original commercials found Freddie. Freddie, possessing intelligence equivalent to that of an ape, could not explain it's situation to the people, but they liked him and so filmed the encounter. As seen in the commercial, the chemicals inserted into his little ape brain caused some paralysis in his limbs, causing the Jesus-like pose. Freddie's current location is unknown, but I predict he lives somewhere in the western United States. Modern Jesus Allegory One theory, from user PabloDePablo, states that Freddie Freaker is a modern Jesus allegory, posed as if he is being crucified. 1-900-490-FREAK was shut down for our sins. This theory is very plausible. the theologian YouTuber Known as "freddy freaker fan club" said in his fifteen minute extravaganza known as "freddy freaker lets play" assertained and teaches that Japanese anime is the antichrist, attempting to take the study of "freakonomics" away from our children. sidenote; "freddy freaker fan club" is not an infallible source, and should be taken with a Very minor grain of salt. He has made claims that freddy freaker is related to the Berlin Wall, whilst I believe what he says to be true others have disagreements as to his theology when it comes to freddy freaker Stole My Girlfriend Another theory states that Freddie Freaker is a girlfriend stealing asshole who needs to leave. Why did he steal my girlfriend? Beat Me Up And Stole My Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards A theory sheds light on a situation that involved Freddie Freaker who had hit them repeatedly over the head with a shillelagh, then proceeded to take all of their Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Why'd that dick need to steal my Blue-Eyes? What a prick. Is My Mom??! One particular theory exclaims inquisitively that "Freddie Freaker is my Mom??!". The theory goes on to state that the author actually has no father and was spawned purely from Freddie Freaker. Perhaps Freddie Freaker is your mom too. Jumping Streets Some users speculate that a certain godlike being named "Jeff" by mortals is actually Freddie Freaker. Jeff was portrayed in the movie 22 Jumpstreet by the actor Channing Tatum. It is unknown how credible this source is. Gargamel's Lost Creation Legend states that Smurfette and the whozit whatzits weren't his only creations. Many forum users speculate that Freddie Freaker was Gargamel's missing creation. However, there is absolutely zero evidence to back up this theory which is exactly why it should be taken very seriously. One reddit user claims to have a lost Smurf book titled, "The Freaky Smurf". In this book, Freddie is supposedly released by Gargamel into the Smurf's village disguised as a regular smurf but yellow. According to the user, Papa Smurf accepts Freddie in and gives him the name "Freaky Smurf". The rest of the book was eaten and was unable to be transcribed. I heard that freddie freaker was actually a liberal who threw potions at small asian children to make them gay. I know because he did it to me :( Mr. Dingleshmunkinhindleherfer: Malevolent Interdimensional Entity A theory from me, Mr. Dingleshmunkinhindleherfer states that Freddie Freaker is a very powerful entity who lives in a seperate, smaller dimension. This dimension is known as "THE FREAK DIMENSION" and only Freddie lives in it. He has contacted our dimension through a telephone number and an advertisement for the number, in which he tries to bring us in with his friendliest form, "The Friendly Freak V1.0". Back in the 80s, when I saw this ad, I asked my friend named Paul Charper Beanie to prank call the Freak himself. He went missing in the year of 1992. I tried calling his phone number in 1993, in the hopes of finding him. I heard Freddie say, in a very deep, demonic voice... " JOIN THE PARTY! FREAK, FREAK, FREAK! ". His phone number was cut from all phones and frequencies, therefore, his connection to this world has ended. Due to recent popularity of his ad, I believe he will return, with a new power. Contact mariokartman456@gmail.com for more information. Thank you for reading this. The Haunting Freddie Freaker personally came into my house at 3 AM t-posing and glitched me through the floor, killing me instantly See Also *What We Know About Freddie Freaker *1-900-490-FREAK Category:Theories